Monday, 21 September 2009

Oh thank Zeus for that !!

   Red wine,jam on toast and something with nicotine to follow.
I have found my fag(that is ciggy for any Americans who may look in)papers and filters,owing to my laziness,after all I would never confess, that thanks to walking round the house with a carrier bag on my head to avoid getting hair dye (me grey ?never)everywhere, I didn't have the time to shop.So I found the emergency golden virgin,something regularly cash light people like me have,I spent an hour hunting down my papers and filters,decided I was too knackered to cook,so am eating blackberry jam on toast,drinking red wine and expecting to inhale nicotine any moment.
I don't often drink when alone,I had a brief spell several years ago when I found myself making a decision,bread or wine with the last of the weeks dosh(money for Yanks,Ozzies etc)now this would be fine, but I was single parenting at the time and the fact I even considered it knocked me back a bit.So I don't generally drink when alone ,just in case the twelve step monkey comes for me.Tonight however I need a glass,I just had the middling daughter on the phone,bloody hell is she depressing,moaned for an hour,thanked me for listening and then explained that none of her friends had time to listen these days,yeah right,they are all now in counselling for telephone induced depression after her last calls.
She tells me her other half calls her Rolf,as she spends all her time whimpering about one injured creature or another,seems today's victim was the poor run-over corvid she saw,whose friends were flying around the cadaver cawing tearfully,I suspect there was cannibalism coming on,but politely kept the thought to myself and sympathised.
I had a bit of a giggle today,I read the daily nazi on-line ,a couple of headlines jumped out at me as they are wont to do,the first read "Machetes by the door, drugs on the table - and mothers paid by the state to have babies with men they barely know. What HAVE we done to the British family?" the second read "Viagra without the wait: Anti-impotence lotion that offers instant results and no side-effects" I suspect having read the first headline the average mail reader wouldn't need any rub on Viagra,they would be so excited they could pole vault.The first article is the most flagrant bit of rubbish I have read in ages,the second has so far only been tested on rats,I wonder what the job description is for that ? rat masturbator ? it is also at least ten years from being anywhere near a human willy.........

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

A great post that_woman but now you have left me with a question - how do you know rats don't masturbate? they have little hand paws and a .........