Burying a child completely kills off any semblance of faith one may have held delusions about.Some preacher waffling about how Jesus just loves little babies,yeah right,he allows them to live a day then kills them off ..........nope,nature is a right bitch,but at least we don't have to attempt to justify anything she does.
As you probably gather we buried Michael yesterday two weeks to the minute after he was born.It was a dreadful thing to watch a young father carry such a tiny coffin.
But as is the way of our family we got through it.
My day started earlier than planned,I received a text message at 1am asking if I had two pieces of music and if I had could I put them on CD for the funeral service as Sarah and Darren only had the songs on Ipod..........
So up I get to investigate,no I haven't got them but it can be arranged,by 2am I have downloaded BitTorrent,stolen two songs removed bit torrent from the pooter and am ready to burn the songs to CD,except a few months ago the pooter was playing up and had to be formatted so no decent music burning software on the machine,I then download CDBurnerXP so the actual hardware then decides to play up.........by 6am I have a hard copy of the two songs,they play on the pooter,I can't test them on the big music system as it is still in bits from decorating but aha an idea,there is an old boom-box thing of the kids that I occasionally use for radio listening,I get it out of the kitchen cupboard and try the CD,the boom-box is broken.........
By this time I am needing to start bathing and dressing as Sam and James are picking me up at 8am to go up to Sarah's for the funeral. We test the CD in the car en route,it doesn't work on the first play,so Sammy takes it out and wipes it,puts it back in and it plays five times in a row without a fault.We breathe a sigh of relief.
After we have been at Sarah's house for a few minutes we start to find weird bits of crumbled rubber all over the floor,Bex ,Ray and Poppy having left home in plenty of time phone to say "ohmygog ohmygod" and announce they must have followed a satnav glitch and may not make it in time for the drive to the graveyard.
The undertakers arrive,a lovely lady in top hat and tails,we hand the CD to her and ask if we can hang on for two minutes as Bex and company are only two streets away,while James talks them safely in without risk of a mad satnav error.We discover Sam's brand new shoes obviously have something wrong with them as the soles have crumbled to nothing hence all the black bits on the floor,so she borrows a pair of Sarah's that she has to squeeze onto her already swollen feet,Bex and co pull up and rush upstairs to change clothes for the service,Poppy goes in for a bit of civil disobedience,so wore Barbie pink to the funeral.I am told to ride to the graveyard in the ex-husbands porsche carrera(spit spit)great idea,I am arthritic and fall into it and have to clamber out in a most undignified fashion,the one bonus is that he is still smoking and coughing...
We get to the graveyard to discover that the babies plot is on such a hill that if the old folks fidget in their chairs they will end up in the grave with the baby,luckily they all sat still.
We are all doing fine until we read the headstone next to Michael's grave"Born Asleep" you could tell as people noticed by the sniffling.
The service is fine except the ruddy CD won't play,lots of comforting religious twaddle for those that need it,then we have the box for donations to the neonatal unit,except I have left the cheques from my parents and myself at home behind the clock.........Poppy announces too loudly to all and sundry that she will be three in September and that her cousin is dead but he will be better soon and we head back to Sarah's place.........
Expect a return to normal moaning blogging soon,should I call this a mog or maybe a bloan rather than a blog ?
10 years ago
2 comments:
A terrible, terrible day that no one should have to go through. I am thinking of you and your family.
But you got through it and you got through it together. All the other things, broken CDs and faulty shoes and ex-husbands cars are just the stuff life is made of and surviving life in the trenches with those things to overcome together is what real family 'quality time' means.
I wish you all a peaceful time to grieve and heal. xxxxxxx
A sad day. My best wishes to you all. xxxx
Bloaning is good (so I am told) :-)
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