Bugger the inheritance, you're going in a home!!!

My mother rang me yesterday.

That woman will wear me down,she has a rather scary health situation going on,she has to have a bladder biopsy as during another procedure they spotted a red shiny patch in there,fair enough she is afraid, I do have some sympathy you know,well I did have....
She proceeded to talk me through some mythical torture she is about to endure and for some really bizarre reason which I really don't get she then told me she is worried that she will be the exception that breaks the rule because Mary Archer had bladder cancer and was treated and survived.She then proceeded to tell me about her cousin who had never smoked or drunk but had died of throat cancer in nineteen hundred and frozen to death 1954 I didn't tell her about throat cancer and HPV  she does seem to be taking her health advice from the daily mail of all places.........
She then started to tell me she was really sorry but she had forgotten Poppy's fourth birthday(my granddaughter her great granddaughter) and was I coming to her birthday tea,it is on Sunday the 9th of October as she expects to be unwell for a few days after"my birthday on the first" so I say "oh don't forget Sam's birthday on the fifth will you",which she completely ignores,so she will forget poor Sam's birthday again this year,it is at this point that I somehow manage to disconnect the phone from the socket and it takes me two or three minutes to plug it back in thanks to a tangle of cables and my disability,when I have reconnected I have a listen to see if she is still there or if I should ring her back,she hasn't even noticed my absence and is still waffling about her birthday and I won't forget will I ? how can I bloody forget you have sicked father on me so I have had to buy an expensive original newspaper from your birth date,I am also having to supply the cake and she will yet again forget her granddaughters birthday,on top of which all through my illness and disablement over the last couple of years she has never once said"how are you" or "how are you feeling" no matter how much pain I am in or how many walking sticks etc I have had to use or even how effing terrified I have been.

Oh by the way,I appear to have a previously unseen genetic problem,I have a switched letter instead of  a G I have a T it is fairly near the dodgy sequences that cause HSP although they don't yet know what the likely outcome of this will be,so now all the kids and grandkids will need testing as no one else in the family is known to have any problems it must have been a de novo error when I was made.

Look a gratuitous picture of my gorgeous granddaughter in her party frock.